1. I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
2. I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy
something.
3. When you’re good, you’re good, when you’re awesome you’re me.
4. The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
5. One day, I’m gonna make the onions cry.
6. Doing the moonwalk is the only way to look cool while wiping dog crap
off
your shoes.
7. Before talking; Please connect the tongue to the brain!
8. Im jealous of my parents, ill never have a kid as cool as theirs.
9. Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural
disasters.
10. The only reason god made cousins so that parents can compare our marks.
11. I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the
mirror.
12. Those who say money can’t buy happiness are shopping at the wrong
places.
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